Letter: To Mr. Daniels and the GA

To: Mitch & the GA Blowhards
State (Of total disarray) House
Indianoplace, No Indians left
Barrio annex, Ninth level of Hell
 
Congratulations,
 
After languishing away the first two years of your office; the most likely two years to solve this property tax mess, you have finally, at the mid-point, decided to lapse into an utterly catatonic state. In point of fact, you have invariably proven yourselves as useful and effectual as a jockstrap on a pigeon.
 
I assume you have been distracted for that first two years by a more lucrative contract or, some other shiny object. That is of little or no consequence at present. What is most repugnant is the fact that you literally will have squandered two years of my life and, the prime season for action. I cannot imagine a more tedious, abrasive assault to the intellect, than the pedantic rubbish which flows as a torrent from your assembly of clots. Perhaps you should consider beginning your initiatives and speeches with “Once upon a time”. That would, at very least, prevent you from violating the Truth in Advertising Laws.
 
It is singularly absurd that you cannot be knocked from your perch of blissful ignorance even when stoned by cold, hard facts. Your uncanny ability to ignore reality, even when confronted with evidence which is in diametric opposition to your delirium, is a testament to the tenacity of cultivated ineptitude. I own a door stop which displays more signs of consciousness than anything witnessed in the row of stones you call an administration. I have seen more dedication of purpose from the smashed mosquitoes adhering to my windshield. And, I might add, a higher level of animation.
 
To come directly to the point, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY HAD IT~! I see no reason to continue being set-up for sheer and agonizing frustration, for the privilege of padding a bloated State and Local budget. Had I known that outrageous prattle; zombie-like foot dragging and malignant disinterest were the hallmark of service for your squadron of the undead, I would have sought out, and voted for, someone of your ranks, whom at least represented a lifelike cadaver.
 
I cannot help but believe, that if as much effort had been spent on elimination of property tax as has been expended on the fabrication of contrition’s, this thing should be done by now. It is remarkable—no, amazing that all of the wonderful “Selling Points” of Indiana, have now become the oozing pustules on Satan's buttocks. Exclusively due to the inaction of it’s supposed “Government”? For Christ's sake, there isn't that much waffling at an International House of Pancakes!
 
Any other employee of mine; whom arrived hours late or not at all, believed they deserved payment for contemplation of their own navel, placed blame for their inadequacy upon me, would be very lucky to only be discharged. You have stated that we hired you. Therefore; I see no reason to continue our affiliation to the conclusion of the original contract, as it appears you have embarked (and commandeered me) upon an exercise in futility. As for “communication with the people”; I have heard more luminous commentary from Chinese Alzheimer’s patients.
 
Your marketing (Election) propaganda proudly boasts an idealistic desire to serve the people of Indiana. May I point out that service means to serve, not to stand gloriously crowing on your own dung heap?
 
In closing; you may leave the steaming heaps of rhetoric of yourself, and your cohorts at the State House hurriedly scribble, as I am certain their removal would be far too complicated for your troupe of lesser primates. These things shall stand as monuments to your disconnection. If I believed you even remotely capable of doing so, I would suggest you go boil your collective heads. I fear though you would go wrong at that too, as your attention spans apparently wouldn't exceed the point of the pot simmering. At the conclusion of this apathetic charade, I hope my only communication with you shall be conducted through an Ouija Board.
 
Feculence does not equal chocolate pudding, but the inverse does--eventually,

Sincerely, (I am certain you will need someone to look this word up for you.)

Jeff Hays
Indiana

Technorati Tags: Governor Mitch Daniels Indiana Property Taxes Indiana Taxes Jeff Hays Mitch Daniels Opinion Politics

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