Scraps From my Table: Survey Results

By Mayor Buckwheat

[editor's note, by kpaul] This is an excerpt (reprinted with permission) of a newsletter by "Mayor Buck Wheat" (a member of the Herald Bulletin forums) concerning Anderson, Indiana (aka Andersonia) Archives are available at the blog. The views expressed in the newsletter do not necessarily reflect the views of Muncie Free Press.

Last Friday's  Poll

There were 154 responses to last week's survey for the upcoming city office election.  There are just a few comments that I would like to make about the results.
 
Although I don't consider this to be a scientific or random sampling, I do think it may help track trends in the general population.  It was open only to subscribers and no duplicate votes were allowed.
 
A couple of weeks ago I took a poll that included a few of these races.  When comparing these two polls, of particular interest to me was the City Council At Large race. Kato Smith has now traded positions with David Eicks and fallen to 4th place.  I am reluctant to attribute this change to Kato's public support of Greg Winkler and the Paramount funding issue, but Kato appears to be on the opposite side of public opinion on both of these and he may suffer for it in November. That would be a loss for the city.
 
I apologize to Art Pepelea and Gary Davis for reversing their party affiliation on the survey.  That said, I am still surprised by Gary's dominance over Art.  Pepelea's airport dalliance may sour on him. Of the 38 respondants who identified themselves as Republicans, 9 of them voted for Davis. Conversely, of the 82 who identified themselves as Democrats, 2 voted for Pepelea.  I am anxious to see if this holds true when I review a correctly labeled survey in a couple of weeks.
 
Another race that seems to be somewhat up in the air at this point is the 4th Ward where Ollie Dixon appears vulnerable.  8 Democrats voted for Whitherspoon and a surprising number of Democrats (14) registered no vote whatsoever. Expect a closer than usual race in November.
 
Jay Stapleton and the Acting Mayor appear to be attached at the hip.  Their numbers are comparable. I believe they are both in serious trouble.  Rick Muir, Rodney Chamberlain and Joe Newman...enjoy a cigar and coast.
 
Mayor of Andersonia     20%     A: Kevin Smith  (R)

    72%     B: Kris Ockomon  (D)

    5%     C: Robert Joswiak (I)

    3%     D: Write in

   
   
   
City Clerk     100%     A: Sheila Ashley (D) 

   
   
   
City Court Judge     100%     A: Donald Phillippe  (D)

   
   
   
City Council District 1     100%     A: Mike Welch  (R) 

   
   
   
City Council District 2     100%     A: Donna Davis (D)

   
   
   
City Council District 3     76%     A: Pam Jones  (D)

    24%     B: Jay Stapleton  (R)

   
   
   
City Council District 4     57%     A: Ollie Dixon  (D)

    43%     B: Michelle Whitherspoon (R)

   
   
   
City Council District 5     70%     A: Gary Davis  (R)

    30%     B: Arthur Pepelea  (D)

   
   
   
City Council District 6     73%     A: Carolyn Dunteman  (R)

    27%     B: Joseph Newman  (D)

   
   
   
City Council At Large      19%     A: Ava Likens Autry  (R)

    61%     B: Rodney Chamberlain  (D)

    44%     C: David Eicks  (D)

    34%     D: Joe McClain  (R)

    64%     E: Rick Muir  (D)

    5%     F: Greg Noland  (L)

    33%     G: Kato Smith  (R)

    5%     H: Write In

   
   
   
Party Identification     59%     A: Democrat

    3%     B: Libertarian

    25%     C: Republican

    13%     D: None of the above

   
   
   
Residence     10%     A: 1   

    6%     B: 2   

    12%     C: 3   

    6%     D: 4   

    17%     E: 5   

    10%     F: 6   

    40%     G: None of the above
 
 
Revealed: 99 Cent WinklerPop

In what is being heralded as the greatest gain in economic development in days, Greg Winkler introduced the new 99 cent “WinklerPop.” The announcement, held at 2am outside the Madison and MLK location, was loudly claimed by Winkler to be “MY idea!  Mine!  Mine! Mine!”, adding the gain in food and beverage funding would be “just like money in my bank account.  Cha-ching, baby!” Shortly thereafter, he was chased away from the front door by a clerk wielding a broom.

  Wink went on to describe the ratio of WinklerPop to economic impact in dental spending as he stood on the base of the Martin Luther King Jr. statue. When contacted for comment Jay Ricker said “He WHAT?”

Andersonia Named "Foreclosure Community of the Year"
 
 "Can't you just smell the opportunity?"  said Acting Mayor Smith when he was informed that Andersonia had a 165% increase in foreclosures over the previous year.  "Here are 406 reasons to be optimistic about our city!  It is a great time to be a slumlord!"
 
Smith cited an active banking community as partners in Andersonia's outside the box "Walk-away"  incentive program.  "Offering tax abatements and other incentives to low-end, high density developers is really the first step in my approach."  Other factors tipping the award scales in Andersonia's favor were astronomically high vacancy rates, shockingly low prices, and drastically increased rates of property crime. "You can't buy publicity like this, although I have certainly tried", commented Smith.
 
 
Salesman for the City!
 
A kind colleague shared a copy of Greg Winkler's resume after the City Council suggested he pack his satchel and move along.  In a gesture of service to my fellow man, I have reprinted an excerpt of the resume below, verbatim:
 
"Public Relations, is a skill and an art.  Sales and Marketing require the salesperson to communicate the value of a product or service to a prospective client or market. The art of Public Relations requires communicating the value through a 3rd party which increases the validity of the message."
 
Sound like the sales technique that Smith and Winkler used at the last City Council meeting?
 
If you have a position you feel Mr. Winkler would be interested in, I will happily forward the resume in its entirety.  It's the least I can do.  
 
 
Traveling Town Hall Attendance Increases
 
Disappointed with low turnout at meetings and events, Acting Mayor Kevin Smith has turned to a more captive audience. After the last traveling town hall meeting at Mounds Mall, Smith discovered that his message was only being heard by 3 mall walkers and 1 security guard."I've got a message and by God people are gonna listen to it," Smith said.
 
The acting mayor plans to take that message to nursing home dining rooms, the county jail, petting zoos, and venues with limited evacuation plans. "In this day and age there are actually people out there who have never heard of The Smith Plan. That is a shocking truth that I intend to change even if I have to hogtie them to get them to listen!"
 
 
Dear Buckwheat
 
Thanks for being the voice of city employees.  You say the things that we have to whisper around here.  Keep up the good work.  T.G.  Anderson
 
I can't believe that you are still printing this garbage.  I can't wait until you're capture or killed.  B.L.  Lapel
 
B.W.  I have been contacted by the Make A Wish Foundation.  They say that there is a little boy that wants to meet you and get your autograph. He will be at my office on the 5th floor this Friday.  Come alone.  K.S.  Andersonia
 
 
 

Last week's challenge honored Greg Winkler.  Scump was the first to submit a correctly decrypted quotation. He won a limited edition Buckwheat covert coffee mug.  Congrats, Scump!
 
Z DLPB HSN QLZGBJ.  Z'PB ACXN QSCHJ NBH NDSCXLHJ FLEX NDLN FSH'N FSKR.
 
-NDSTLX LGPL BJZXSH
 
I have not failed. I've just found ten thousand ways that won't work.
 
Thomas Alva Edison

 

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